Physical growth- Between the ages of 0 to about 4 years old all genders progress at the same rate, once in elementary and mid school girls tend to grow faster.  We all can remember starting high school where the girls were taller then the boys, then around sophomore year the boys surpass the girls on through college.

Gender identity- “Children begin to identify themselves as a boy or a girl as early as 18 months. But it’s between the ages of 2 and 6 that they begin to identify with others of their sex and demonstrate play and other behaviors that are characteristic of that sex. Most social scientists agree that an interplay of nature and nurture determines how these gender roles play out. “(BabyCenter.com)

Motor skills- Boys’ tend to develop faster in things like running, jumping, balancing while girls’ tend to be better at holding a pencil, writing.  This is evident in my neighbor hood anytime we get the soccer ball out where we have 7 boys and 4 girls on the block, the boys can simply out play the girls up to about age 4, then the girls come roaring back till about age 12 then the boys start running faster again.

“Boys are also more physically aggressive and impulsive, as revealed by studies of their brains. The pleasure center of the brain actually lights up more for boys when they take risks. That’s not to say that girls aren’t active and risk-taking, only that on average boys are more inclined.” (Babycenter.com)

Verbal skills- Boys tend to be late talkers compared to their girl counterparts, and boys use more limited vocabularies. Girls also tend to be better at the nonverbal skills which also gives the impression of being better communicators.   At a Christmas party I had one year, our neighbors daughter was 2 and my son was 2 ½ and she said “Merry Christmas” clear as day.  I laughed and asked my son to say Merry Christmas and it came out as “ka coo kee casss”  Enough said.

Potty Training- It is said that boys are harder to potty train then girls although I did some extensive research on the web and with family and friends. There is not much evidence of this and I have a friend who has twins a boy and a girl (so she is a good test subject for the nurture part) and they progressed along the same lines.  I am not sure this one belongs on the list.  My son was potty trained at 2 ½ mostly because I was over the diaper thing.

Lastly, all things given above are based on averages so it may be a distorted view for parents. It could also be that we dislike in others what we hate in ourselves, so it may give bias to gender that is unfounded.  For instance, a mom who says boys are easier to raise because they do not whine and are not dramatic could be prone to those behaviors herself. Or a dad who says boys are hard headed and stubborn may be the prototype for that behavior.  

The bottom line is that raising children is hard work, regardless of gender, and there are always kids who break the standards – thank goodness!

Click here for parents best kept secrets

Raising a child is an awesome responsibility.  Once you are a parent it becomes apparent how ill equipped you really are, and all you want is be the best parent you can be.  I have done some research on some BIG (and I mean BIG) things of what not to do.  So often you read about what to do, this once I want to focus the things you should not do to make sure that your family life remains as perfect as it should.

First of all you must appreciate the fact that children are innocent and they are immature. They are not able to understand if their parents pay more attention to any one out of them. As parents it is important to pay attention to all of your kids. Lack of attention may be destructive for the kids. You should not create this favoritism.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease but don’t forget the one that runs perfectly without question.  Ignoring that wheel will quickly create problems.Secondly, do not discourage your kids – let me repeat do not dishearten your kids. Give them opportunities to excel, experiment and success.  In the end they will be better kids and you will be the best parent you can be.  For example, my cousin will not sing out loud to this day because her mom told her she could not carry a tune in a bucket.  I know my aunt did not mean that “silly” comment to have the lasting effects it had, but it did.  Help them to become more confident. If your kids will feel that you are genuinely interested in their lives they will actually feel at home with you and will be more cooperative. They will start talking to you and they will share their thoughts, hopes, fears, and dreams with you.  That is the end goal to being the finest parent you can be.

Lastly, you may have very good reason for criticizing your kids about something because you think you are being realistic, but think about it from your child’s point of view. They may not be able to appreciate this. They may not be able to take it positively. If they are doing something wrong, discuss it with them. Tell them to correct themselves but in a way which is not insulting to them. Kids at any age are very sensitive. They are over emotional. Treat them with love and care, other wise they will start reacting in a negative way.  You should not punish them for little mistakes, help them learn from them and move on. The best way to go about it is to talk to them. Discuss the problem with them. Half of the problem will be solved automatically if you make them believe that you are there to listen to them. Not doing all these above mentioned things will ensure you can be the parent you have always wanted to be.

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